I remember thinking “I look forward to being a dancer in my 30′s”.

Dance Sequence 1

Photo credit: Jason Salvesburg

That was nearly a decade ago.

Here I am, a 33 year old dancer.

It’s as good, if not better, than I had hoped.

I am more confident and calm and yet I try harder and am more demanding of myself than ever before.


My 33 year old body has a history; the hamstring that tore a dozen years ago will never be the same again, sometimes my wrists hurt really bad seemingly out of nowhere, I had a freak injury to my right shoulder a while ago that gives me grief.   My 33 year old body is also lighter, less fatigued, and at least as flexible as it has always been.


In many ways I feel like I’ve arrived.  I no longer feel like I have to prove myself in every dance situation.  At this point I am what I am, more open to growing and changing than ever but also acutely aware of my strengths (balance, focus, and literally muscular strength) and my weaknesses (I’ve never been a very technical dancer, my dynamic range is limited, I am not particularly flexible, my extension isn’t really very good).


photo credit: Brian Rimel

Sometimes my strengths are also my weaknesses; I am very grounded and my movement tends to be soft and performed with ease. I like the way I move because I move the way that feels good to my body, however sometimes this is not the quality a choreographer is looking for.


During my first two and a half decades of dancing I was resistant to changing the way moved.  I was insecure and stubborn and felt like a choreographer should value me for me and that asking me to do things differently was basically saying that I wasn’t doing a good job.  I’m not proud, this is not an awesome approach to constructive criticism.  These days I have more confidence in the value of my ability and talent while also recognizing that it can be fun and interesting to have people give you feedback, challenge you, and push you out of your comfort zone. 


Of course, art merely imitates life.   All these things are just a reflection of growing up, of becoming an adult, of adapting to new challenges, of being willing to allow for change.


Now I get to look forward to being a dancer in my 40′s!! ;)

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I Want to Blog Again!

I want to write/blog so badly.

I think about it often, I try to start posts in my head, I even sit down to the blank “Add New Post” page but nothing comes out.  Many times over the last month or two I’ve tried to reconcile that Gracefulfitness has had a good run and it’s cool, it’s totally fine, to let it go now, “gracefully”.  But! I miss it!

So here I am, trying to put something down to get over that hurdle of the first post back after a long hiatus.

Random tidbits from the last six weeks;

  • I finally learned to cook collard greens! And now they are one of my favorite greens (yes, higher on the list than kale).  The beauty of collards is that they really need you to cook the shit out of them to be good (unlike kale and chard which get overcooked so easily and turn into an unappealing mush).


  • My love for Pilates is reignited and I’m excited to practice more and maybe finally go after that reformer certification I’ve been dreaming of for years.  Any recommendations on programs?


  • Willie Nelson.  The man kicks ass.


willie nelson lockn


  • Dancing is my happy place.

Brian Rimel photo



Brian Rimel Photo

Photo credit: Brian Rimel

  • Fall is lovely and sad and motivating, both in the garden and in life in general.

Miss you all, hope you’re well.


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