Most people who know me would use words like “grounded”, “calm”, or “low-key” to describe my personality. I would have to agree with them….mostly.
Yesterday I was more like a big ball of anxiety and frustration.
I was feeling overwhelmed by what I “needed” to accomplish and underwhelmed with own ability to get it done.
I am far from a perfectionist but yesterday I realized just what high expectations I place on myself sometimes. Not unrealistically high but the kind of high that creates a bit of panic if I fall short.
Around the holidays last year I thought a lot about, and wrote about, compassion. My mind was focused on cultivating compassion towards others and I gave little thought towards self-compassion. Self-compassion is a tricky thing for me to wrap my brain around. In many ways I am gentle and kind to myself and rarely let negative self-talk take over my inner dialogue. On the other hand, when I think of self-compassion a little part of me wants to scream that that is just my inner apathy wanting to be let off the hook.
Like most things in life it comes down to balance.
How can we find the balance between self-compassion, self-critique, and just plain apathy?
It helps to start by acknowledging that like most things in life, achieving this balance is an active, not static, practice. Balance is rarely passive. Stand on a tightrope, how passive do you feel? Most likely every cell in your body is on high alert with the goal of keeping you upright.
One of the challenges this presents is that there isn’t one right answer. Some days balance comes quick and easy, other days I stumble to stand up! At different times in my life I will need to draw on tried and true techniques from the past as well as find new tools to apply to each unique situation.
What’s in my toolbox today? Gratitude.
Too blessed to be stressed so I’m making lemonade!