I am floundering lately.
www.thefreedictionary.com has this to say on flounder
floun·der 1 (floundr)
intr.v. floun·dered, floun·der·ing, floun·ders
1. To make clumsy attempts to move or regain one’s balance.
Humm. Yep, that about sums it up.
I have been in transition for the entirety of 2010. First, transitioning out of Lima (we left February 1st). Then 6 months on the road, which, the way Tate and I do it of a new place every 2 or 3 days, is constant transition (literally in transit!). We arrived in West Virginia mid-July and immediately started looking for houses here in C’ville while staying at a different family members house every night or two. We bought and moved just after Labor Day but just because the boxes are (almost) unpacked doesn’t mean that all of the dust has settled. I need a job! I need friends! I need to be able to make my way around town without a map! I need a dryer!
But alas, I am facing the duration of 2010 to be…transitional. Tate and I are working on making our dreams of a wellness center into a reality but it is a slow process. The VERY exciting news is that we have the space secured to buy (yes, we are well aware we’ve been diving into the deep end lately) and it is an excellent opportunity. The space has a chiropractic clinic ready to go and a lovely studio upstairs for me to teach classes and hold training sessions. It’s amazing, it really is. LOADS of potential. But it still feels far off and hypothetical.
Until the center is ours I am stuck making clumsy attempts at moving forward with my life, trying, desperately at times, to regain a balance I have not had since I left Portland in December 2008. Most days I am content to organize my days around job hunting (for the interim and the slow first months), blogging, exercising, cooking, and general house wife duties. Some days I get really down on myself for not being more proactive in getting a job and getting out there and making myself a community here in C’ville. Very occasionally I am tearfully nostalgic for my life in Portland, the one with great jobs, great friends, and opportunities being handed to me right and left.
The teabag this morning reminds me of the important things in life
“May your inner self be secure and happy.”
Well, yes, that is a lovely idea, isn’t it?
Lots to do today on a practical note, laundry, job interview, yoga class, packing for another weekend in West Virginia, a run.
Last night Tate and I had a biking rendezvous with Kath and Matt at Market Street Wineshop for a little beer tasting.
Can you guess what came in this pretty paper bag?
Pounds of seedy, doughy deliciousness by the name of Dakota.
Kath and Matt are opening a Great Harvest Bread Company here in the spring and I think their plan is to get me hooked on their bread before they even turn the oven on! And it worked, they already have one loyal customer in Charlottesville!
Post beer tasting, Tate and I were set for pizza and a movie at home when he had a quick change of pace and decided to go play soccer. I grabbed a giant large slab of doughy delight and went with him, it was such a nice evening I wanted to be outside some more.
I brought some supplies with me.
The game was all in Spanish (90% of the players were Hispanic) and reminded me of our first few weeks in Lima when I would go and watch Tate play there.
Time to tackle the day. I love, love, love the internet but lately I have been spending the better part of my morning on it. Must. Disconnect. Now.
Glad you guys got the space OK!
I’m feeling the same way lately – like I’m floundering. I keep feeling like I need to regroup, but I just can’t seem to keep up. Maybe it’s a fall thing? I guess maybe I just need to go with the flow and eventually I’ll just get to where I need to be. Good luck with everything! That bread looks AMAZING!!
It’s always nice to hear that someone can relate to how you are feeling/what stage you are going through with your life, thanks for that.
oh that bread does look delicious!
You wrote about floundering and then haven’t written in days…Are you still floundering?
I was just thinking/wondering the same thing! Yes, I think that is part of it but mostly I was camping over the weekend without internet and started a job yesterday. But I am back now! (still floundering a bit perhaps but ready to blog!)
Camping is better than floundering! I spent a month camping last summer. Does wonders to get my children unplugged!
So much better! That’s wonderful that you camped for a whole month with kids!