Today Tate and I are celebrating our 5 year wedding anniversary. Five years of marriage is a notable enough event but it doesn’t even begin to tell the story of us.
Our story really started 14 years ago, when we were both working as whitewater raft guides in West Virginia. Once we started getting to know each other our attraction was immediate, strong, and deep. We tried to play it cool and casual for a few years, dating other people and living in different states for part of the time, but eventually we acknowledged the truth; this was for real.
By 2001 we were both looking to move out of West Virginia, I wanted to pursue a degree in dance and Tate wanted to ski and go back to school. After debating Boulder (my idea) and Portland (his idea) we settled on Salt Lake City. It was a perfect compromise; the University of Utah has one of the best modern dance programs in the country and the Wasatch Mountains catch world-class snow.
The first winter we lived in Utah Tate proposed to me on New Year’s Eve. We borrowed a snow mobile and rode to the top of a mountain. It was snowing lightly and just before midnight Tate delivered the most beautiful, heart felt proposal. Honestly, I was shocked. I managed a yes sometime in the next 24 hours and we both agreed it would be a while before the wedding.
I’m not the most traditional gal. I was madly in love with Tate and knew that he was what I wanted but I was a little on the fence about marriage. I wasn’t sure it was necessary for me. We are not religious and I didn’t have an attachment to the institution of marriage. I was, and still am, disturbed by how completely intertwined religion, government, and marriage are in the United States. Not to mention equal rights. I used to half-joke that we would get married when same-sex marriage is legalized. (I am not bashing religion or it as vital aspect of marriage for some but that is not my belief system so I am merely saying that a religion didn’t play into my desire to marry.)
In the end, I’m a hippocrite because as soon as I joined the married club, I loved it. It is different to be married, partly because of how society sees you and your relationship but also because it enhanced and deepened something between Tate and I, something real and beautiful and intimate.
We’ve had many adventures together and experienced great joy and a few sorrows, five years is notable but really just the beginning.
Over the course of our relationship we’ve had 11 homes (does an old school bus count as a home?), driven across the country 3 times, graduated college (twice for Tate!), had 4 cats and 3 cars and 7 roommates, worked more odd jobs than deserve mention, traveled to two dozen countries, lived abroad, lived in 4 U.S. states, bought a house, started a clinic, welcomed nieces and nephews into the world, created community, and become family.
{There are a few more wedding pictures in last years anniversary post! 🙂 }
Congtats on the five year mark! We love you together!
Happy Anniversary!!
Beautiful said, Faith. Amazing story.
Happy Anniversary to you and Tate!!
I couldn’t think of a more perfect match <3
Happy Anniversary! I wish you many more years of happiness. Tomorrow is our 6th anniversary. 🙂
Happy Anniversary! Love continually keeping up on your blog & cannot tell you enough how much I enjoy your honesty in writing. I also enjoy reading about other couples that have had similar experiences as my boyfriend & I have had. What a beautiful world we live in~ Thanks for your eloquent words & Happy Anniversary again~
Stef, thanks so much for the kind words, it’s really nice to know that what you put out there is being taken in as you intend.
what a beautiful story – happy anniversary to you and Tate!
Happy anniversary! Here’s wishing you 10x’s more.
Happy anniversary to you and Tate! Great story!
Thanks Lindsey!
You guys are such a lovely couple, happy anniversary! And for the many that will come.
Aw, this is adorable. Happy anniversary you two!
congratulations to you two 🙂 love that photo of you guys on your wedding day!
With the return of electric service, I sorted through 125 emails to find your postings. How pleased I am for both of you and our family to honor the partnership and marriage of you and Tate. I was likely a visitor in all but the school bus, and know your homes are always welcoming. Congrats
oh i just love this post. what an exciting adventure your marriage and relationship has been. i feel a lot like you do about marriage. my first time around i got married very young to the wrong person. once i met Bill my present husband i was pretty much done with marriage. for me it did not make sense. but eventually we ran off to the courthouse and got married-just the two of us. it was very spur of the moment and romantic. i am so happy for the two of you! btw looks like you threw a great baby shower for kath 🙂
Thanks Kalli, I wasn’t sure how my views would be received so I appreciate the feedback that it resonated with you. Thrilled for you that you found a wonderful man to have a wonderful marriage with. 🙂
What a great story! Love that you’ve gone in so many different directions together. That definitely makes the ride more fun 🙂
congratulations and best wishes for many more years to come. It will be 25 for us this year!
Thanks and congrats on 25!
Congratulations on the 5 years! Thank you for sticking your neck out in support of same-sex marriage, too!
Thanks Kimberly!
Happy anniversary, Faith!
And what a great story – so full of adventure!
Love that last photo of the two of you (the B&W one). The word that immediately comes to my mind seeing that photo is “content”. Like a quiet contentment that comes from being with the person you love and KNOWING that that person is the one. Marriage or not. 😉
I appreciate your honest views on marriage as an institution. As someone who has experienced the institution and the rites of marriage not once, but THREE times (To the same guy, by the way! We had a legal exchange of vows, followed by a Catholic ceremony months later and then a Hindu ceremony, believe it or not… both our families are religious), what truly marked “marriage” for me was our decision to commit to each other. And sometimes it’s the unexpected experiences – like the time I rushed him to the emergency room (we were not even engaged then) and spent the night in the hospital. There was no institution of marriage involved there, but I certainly felt committed to be by his side 100%! Interestingly enough, what really made me feel the most “married” was our least-traditional wedding (the first one) as that was the one that was purely for the two of us and not anyone else. It felt the least “institutional” among our other ceremonies, and that was when we made the most important relationship decision of our lives without all the other “stuff” that comes with traditional weddings. Like you I’m not bashing the religious aspect by any means, as our two religious ceremonies were amazing experiences in their own right… Just sharing my perspective.
Sorry for the long comment, but what you wrote made me think!
No need to apologize Mia, I loved reading your thoughts! Thanks for sharing. I know what you mean about the emergency room, I was horribly ill in China at the end of our backpacking trip in 2010 and the things Tate did to take care of me were above and beyond the call of duty; pure family love.