Most people who know me would use words like “grounded”, “calm”, or “low-key” to describe my personality. I would have to agree with them….mostly.
Yesterday I was more like a big ball of anxiety and frustration.
I was feeling overwhelmed by what I “needed” to accomplish and underwhelmed with own ability to get it done.
I am far from a perfectionist but yesterday I realized just what high expectations I place on myself sometimes. Not unrealistically high but the kind of high that creates a bit of panic if I fall short.
Around the holidays last year I thought a lot about, and wrote about, compassion. My mind was focused on cultivating compassion towards others and I gave little thought towards self-compassion. Self-compassion is a tricky thing for me to wrap my brain around. In many ways I am gentle and kind to myself and rarely let negative self-talk take over my inner dialogue. On the other hand, when I think of self-compassion a little part of me wants to scream that that is just my inner apathy wanting to be let off the hook.
Like most things in life it comes down to balance.
How can we find the balance between self-compassion, self-critique, and just plain apathy?
It helps to start by acknowledging that like most things in life, achieving this balance is an active, not static, practice. Balance is rarely passive. Stand on a tightrope, how passive do you feel? Most likely every cell in your body is on high alert with the goal of keeping you upright.
One of the challenges this presents is that there isn’t one right answer. Some days balance comes quick and easy, other days I stumble to stand up! At different times in my life I will need to draw on tried and true techniques from the past as well as find new tools to apply to each unique situation.
What’s in my toolbox today? Gratitude.
Too blessed to be stressed so I’m making lemonade!
Mia (Savor Everyday)
“I was feeling overwhelmed by what I “needed” to accomplish and underwhelmed with own ability to get it done.”
Oh my goodness… I think I feel this way on most days. :-/
I think about compassion too and how I practice it towards myself (or not). I once read something that was really helpful: Be your own best friend. I know it sounds simplistic but it’s true… if our best friend doubted us or talked about us negatively as much as we did ourselves, we wouldn’t even want to be friends with that person.
And on the other hand, our best friend also reminds us when it’s time to get our butts to work 🙂
So…”be our own best friend”. It certainly is a balancing act though, as you have said.
But yes, gratitude does keep things in perspective!
Effortless accomplishment is a phrase I came across years ago and at first glance was completely mystified by it’s meaning! How could there possibly be accomplishment without effort/work? Over the years it makes more and more sense to me-There is a time for every project every doing every accomplishment that is intended. Some days the deeds flow like
water downstream and other days fight the current and end up cap-sized. Now it means to notice the joy and beauty of the accomplishment when it has been produced with ease and grace rather than drama and stress.
“Balance is rarely passive “
Well done my child, well done