I’m just gonna dive right into it.
Two years and a month after having a LEEP procedure I received “abnormal” results on my last pap smear.
That was five weeks ago.
I’ve just been sitting with the information since then. Actually I’ve been trying to ignore it. Real responsible, eh?
When my very awesome Certified Nurse Midwife called me to give me the results I had a mild panic attack. I felt like one minute I was playing on a beautiful beach, splashing in the water without a care, then all of a sudden I was taken under by a massive wave and tumbled around on the ocean floor. I spent about an hour sobbing. I felt let down by my body and heart broken at the thought of another biopsy and possibly another LEEP.
After reading back over my old posts about my experience with cervical dysplasia I decided two things. First, I needed to calm the fuck down and breathe because stress is one of the worst things for my body and this condition. Second, I will follow up with another pap in hopes that it was a false positive as a result of a mild infection or something else before jumping into a costly and painful biopsy.
I’m going in for another pap in the beginning of February, until then I am bound and determined to not get caught up in the stress of “what if”.