Mantra
I am healthy. I am whole. I am grateful.
I grew up in a super crunchy, new agey household. In other words, no stranger to positive affirmations and mantras. I have rarely used them in my personal life but this morning, while running on a beach in Puerto Rico and contemplating my latest doctors visit, this one came to me.
I am healthy. I am whole. I am grateful.
Hell yeah I am grateful. I was running on a beach in Puerto Rico!
The thing is, just moments before my mantra came to me I was feeling sick and sorry for myself.
On Thursday I went in for a follow up appointment after receiving “abnormal” results on my pap smear in early December. My plan was to get another pap, hoping that something besides the return of cervical dysplasia had influenced last months results. My Certified Nurse Midwife had a different plan.
As it turns out I was quite misinformed about pap smears and the level of detection they are able to perform these days.
Since I have a feeling I’m not the only misguided lady out there one I am sharing what I learned.
When a pap smear comes back abnormal the lab is able to further investigate what the cause of the result is from the sample they already have. A variety of factors can cause abnormal results. The three possible issues that my CNM mentioned were herpes, trichomoniasis, and hpv. In my case the first two were not present but just like before, the cervical dysplasia was due to an hpv infection (I plan on writing more about this very soon). I also learned that it is highly unlikely for abnormal results to be incorrect altogether and that paps are no longer sensitive to the presence of blood or semen in the sample because it is taken as a liquid (it used to be dry by the time the lab got it) and those excess substances can be “washed out”.
So. In the eyes of the medical profession the next step is for me to have another colposcopy and likely another biopsy.
I am not against that idea but first I am going to give myself 3-5 months of time focusing on healing my cervical cells through alternative routes. This includes nutritional supplementation, acupuncture, Chinese medicine, stress reduction, and yes, positive affirmations. Along these lines I welcome any insight, knowledge, or personal experience you have to offer.
I am healthy. I am whole. I am grateful.
