I am turning 35 tomorrow.
It’s going to be a good day. Sleeping in, maybe a hike, teaching a little, tacos and margaritas in the backyard with some of my favorites, dancing my ass off to March Fourth Marching Band. Then, on Friday, back to life as normal. Except I’ll be 35.
I’m grateful for 35. I have a confidence and calmness that I’ve never felt before. This is certainly a natural part of ‘growing up” for many but let’s get it straight; I’ve also worked DAMN HARD to feel this way. Lots of observing others, lots of investigating who I am and who I want to be, lots of meditation and crying and misunderstanding and communicating and ignoring and recognizing and holding on and letting go.
Let’s get another thing straight; I’ve got a helluva lot more work to do.
But for now I’m grateful for this place I’ve arrived at on the eve of my 35th birthday.
I feel calm yet also a bit restless, a lot wanderlust, and a huge sense of curiosity.
I’m not feeling bored; I’m feeling brave.
Brave like I’ve never felt, which for me isn’t actually saying that much. I am risk averse, I am calculated, I am insecure about putting myself out there with the possibility of failure.
Or, I used to be. Or, I used to be much more than I am now.
In any case, this new-found boldness is exciting.
This new-found boldness is really a lessening of fear of being vulnerable. I always want to fly but I’m not nearly as afraid to fall and enjoying the leaping more than ever.
Dearest Fellow May Babies (of which, there are MANY!),
What a glorious time to be born! I wish you all extra special days and magnificent Mays, let’s make this the best yet!
Happy birthday! I think there is always more growth and exploration to do, no matter what age you get to. Isn’t it great to be able to look back and see the lessons learned and wisdom acquired?
Beautifully written Happy Birthday
Jennifer / Simply + Fiercely
I feel like you went into my head and wrote down exactly how I’m feeling! I just turned 35 as well and I truly understand that hard earned confidence and calm. (I also understand the work that I have to do, but instead of feeling scared or overwhelmed, I feel like I’ve got this.)
Thanks for writing this beautiful piece. Happy birthday! x