Grateful Not Grumpy
I’m feeling like a big baby about my upcoming birthday.
I’m a big baby because
a) I know how many days away it is; 35
b) because I feel pouty and crabby about turning 35
Those of you reading this who are days, weeks, months, decades beyond 35 will probably think I’m a bit ridiculous, so will those of you who are years away from seeing 35. I’m guessing in a few months time I’ll have settled into 35 and look back on this post and feel ridiculous too.
Right now, however, I’m a bit bummed about 35.
I’ve always been the youngest. In junior high and high school my friends (and boy friends!) were upperclassman. At 17 I became a whitewater raft guide, working side by side with folks in their 40s and 50s. Even in college, although I didn’t start until I was 20, my closest friends were in their mid-late 20s.
Yesterday I was in a rehearsal with two college kids and a high schooler. I’ve never felt so old. I wasn’t sure whether to be proud that I could keep up with them or saddened that they could keep up with me.
Okay, okay, I know, this is kind of ridiculous. Age is just a number, it happens to everyone, with age come wisdom, and hey, I am smarter, stronger, & better looking now than I when I was 25 (except the wrinkly elbows and sun spots…).
I need an attitude adjustment. I need an attitude of gratitude.
Life is beautiful and tremendous and long.
35 years old signifies everything I have seen and experienced thus far and, if I follow in my grandmother and great aunts foot steps, I am still a baby. 🙂
Today I am grateful..
…that I’m not a pissed off, prepubescent 10 year old Faith with a bad bowl cut.
…that I’m not a self-conscious and angsty 15 year old Faith.
…that I’m not a 22 year old Faith with devastating insomnia and a wrecked immune system.
…that I’ve traveled all over the world.
…that I’m still dancing.
…that my work is helping people more fully live in their body’s through dance, Pilates, and yoga.
…that my family is sweet and goofy and smart and accepting.
….that I had my grandmother Mildred in my life until she was nearly 95 and I was nearly 35.
…that I got to have a heart to heart with my (almost!) 101 year old great aunt last Sunday.
…that at almost 35 I am braver and more confident than I ever have been.
…that I have an AMAZING new niece, a new light, a new love.
…that it’s April, Spring is magic.
…that I have lived nearly 35 years full of love, adventure, and learning.