Proceed with Love & Caution

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{The following post was inspired by a call for help from a dear friend who has found themselves very uncomfortably overweight and at a loss with how to proceed. I think they wanted exercise or “diet” tips but I know from personal experience that diets and exercise are basiclly bandaids on broken bones when it comes to weight. The following is the most honest and useful response I could muster.}

Weight loss and weight maintenance is an in-depth and intense process of tuning-in to yourself.

On the surface, the equation is simple; to lose weight, the calories in through consumption must be less calories out (through both movement and basic metabolic function). In order to maintain your weight, they need to be equal.

That’s the good news, the hard facts.

The reality is, we are humans with all sorts of complications interrupting the math.

As I see it (and feel it, and experience it) the main complications arise when we are not honest with ourselves, when we ignore ourselves, and when we defend ourselves to ourselves.

This deep level of dishonesty tends to be BFF’s with shame.

And what does shame do? Shame makes us want to turn up the blinders on deep, honest self-evalution. Shame pushes us towards defensiveness and numbness.

Brene Brown’s research on shame has helped me understand how shame is a really shitty conduit for change.

Believe me, I’ve tried the shame tactic with both myself and some of my closest loved ones many, many times.

Not once did it functionally produce the change I was shaming for.

I was kind of bummed when I realized this. Shame felt such an easy go-to when it came to trying to illicit change in both myself and others.

Damnit, the easy way wasn’t going to cut it.

So, what does work?

Honesty.

Over the last several years I have come to really dislike feeling super full after a meal. It signals to me that I wasn’t paying attention, that I wasn’t being honest to the needs and desires of my dear, sweet self.

I’m talking about really, truly overeating. I’m talking about those times where the majority of cues about what and how much you ate are coming from external sources; how beautiful the food is, how much food there is, how much other people are eating, how much you paid for it, how much time went into the preparation, what time of day it is…

We are always going to be influenced by the external but I deeply believe that in order to serve ourselves best, the majority of cues need to come from inside.

It is all within you.


Make it your mission to find that concept powerful & empowering rather than scary and hopeless.

When I stopped overeating regularly (it still happens sometimes, of course) and started feeding my deep, true hunger needs, I shed close to 10 pounds. It felt like it fell off me. I was exercising less than the previous 10 years (another topic for another day), my appetite was strong but not overpowering like it was when I was stuffing my stomach on the reg, and the familiar regret of “crap, I overate again, I’ll try again tomorrow to ‘be good’” disappeared.

The ever-wise Deepok Chopra has a concept that can apply beautifully to this task of tuning in to your true hunger and tuning out the external noise: S.T.O.P

Stop, pause.

Take a breath, focusing on your breath for even one inhale-exhale will help cue you into you.

Observe, now is the time to key into both the internal and external. Are you truly hungry? If so, for what? What are the external factors contributing to the moment? What external factors are going to challenge your ability to deeply listen to your internal needs and cues. How do you want to feel when you are done eating, both physically and psychologically?

Proceed with caution and LOVE.

I use this technique multiple times before and during eating. It is a practice, not a destination, and there are times I let my practice go and there are times when it is the last thing I want to do but in the big picture I know that it serves me best not to overserve myself with calories, guilt, or shame but rather with the perfect plate of honesty, self love, and nutritious, delicious food.

If this post resonates with you at all, or if you have any questions/want help with the concepts above, please don’t hesitate to reach out, publicly or privately.

All my love, Faith

Fall Feels

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Forgive me the technicality, I know the equinox is still officially one week away, but it’s feeling very much like fall around here.

The garden has slowed production.

The flannels and pants are back in rotation.

The leaves are turning.

And I am starting to feel the crud.

Fall is my weak spot. It is the time I get sick, cold sores, and feel chronically underslept.

Obviously, this year more than ever, it feels crucial to focus on maintaining health and welness. Here’s my plan.

  • Drink (even) more water.

One summer when I was a kid, the camp nurse prescribed water for whatever ailed us.

Headache? Drink some water. Homesick? Water. Bruised your knee? Where’s your water bottle?

I’ve totally adopted her credo as an adult.

Water is magic medicine. I’ve had first hand results with it’s ability to prevent colds and cold sores, treat headaches, improve athletic recovery, improve digestion, make skin glow, and calm anxiety.

On the other side of it, I also ended up in the emergency room in China at 3am as a result of not drinking enough of it…

I generally aim for a minimum of 60 ounces a day. This time of year, when I need it the most and find it challenging to remember to drink it (cooler temps?), I am striving to drink closer to 100 ounces.

One way I ‘convince’ myself to drink more is to add something to my glass. This could be as simple as a slice of cucumber or some lemon. It helps me keep track and treat it like a prepared drink rather than a random glass of water that may as well water the plants or go down the drain.

Other “additives” that I find helpful to increase my water intake: vitamin C /EmergenC packets (cvs brand of this type of product is actually my favorite), vitamin D drops, electrolite drops, drinking sparkling water, keeping a pitcher of water in the fridge with sprigs of mint or lemon balm from the garden.

  • Vitamin C

I don’t take vitamin C every day but it is my go-to at the first signs of the fall crude.

  • Maintain my produce intake

I eat the rainbow of fresh produce in the summer, especially when the garden is cranking. All that variety and fresh food helps ensure I am getting a healthy daily dose of vitamins, antioxidents, and minerals.

Like most people, when the light wains and the leaves fall, it’s easy for me to turn towards heartier, starchier foods and decrease my variety of produce. Thankfully, I love soup and the more veggie packed it is, the better in my book.

Carrot Miso Soup

  • Spend time outside

Daylight, vitamin D, fresh air, and connecting with the world around me has never been better medicine than in these challenging, unprecidented times.

Our physical, mental, and spiritual health has never been more challenged, I encourage you to carve out space in your day to address each of these for yourself, in whatever big or small way speaks to your needs.